Relationship advice! Puhlease!?

So there is this monkey that likes to sniff my butt. I met him at the banana bar, but I have tried to never give him those butt sniffing clues. Now he won't leave me alone, even though I've had ';the talk'; with him.





He lives in the same zoo as me, in fact, just a few cages down. He always wants to hang out and eat bananas together. But I just don't want to. I even told him I felt sick the other day, because he wanted to come over.......... So he comes over with sprite and gaterade. Other than having ';the talk'; with him, what can I do to show him that I just want to be friends.





Remember, he lives in my zoo............ I don't want a stalker on my hands!Relationship advice! Puhlease!?
Well, if you are trying to be nice to keep a friendship with him then simply tell him that you are not into that kinky butt sniffing stuff but you would like to still share bananas.





If you don't care about keeping a friendship with him then tell him to stick his banana where the sun doesn't shine! Let him know that you don't play those little butt sniffing games and you are looking for more of a gorilla than a chimp. If worse comes to worse.... do what you monkeys do best...throw your poo at him.Relationship advice! Puhlease!?
You need to be much stronger and no nonsense in your talk with him. Firm and look him in the eye. If that wont work, then get a gorilla to help you and go apesh!t on him.





Good luck and I hope I helped
Just keep avoiding him, and definitely don't go out with him...eventually he'll probably get the picture and move on, maybe eventually you can be friends.
Start to live your own life--ween him off of you--gradually, but deliberately. these people don't let go easily, but over time,find another host. good luck...
TPS Reports
That is SO sweet. So, what's the problem? All he wants to do is make love to you!





Ain't he hard enough? Ain't he rough enough? Ain't he rich enough? Are you too blind to see?





You don't have to be his beast of burden. Just get in your cage and draw the curtains. Put some music on the radio, let him make sweet love you!





You're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty monkey. A pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty monkey. He's sayin' come on monkey, please, please, please!!





I'll tell ya -- you can put him out on the street, put him out with no shoes on his feet, put him out, put him out of misery. Yeah, all your sickness, he can suck it up, Throw it all at him, he can shrug it off. There's one thing baby, he don't understand, you keep on telling him, he ain't your kind of ape. Ain't he rough enough? Ooooh. Ain't he tough enough? Ohhhh. Ain't he rich enough, in love enough? Ooh! Ooh! please!





He won't be no beast of burden. He needs no fussing, needs no nursing, all he wants for YOU is to make sweet love to him.








Whew. I hope this helps.

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