Relationship advice, Desperate help?1?

I’m finding it hard to say no and be strong with my boyfriend.


This is causing me to start losing interest fast!





There are a few scenarios;





He does not understand that when we go to my house we have to sleep in separate beds, due to my parents being catholic %26amp; also this is just out of respect. We argue constantly and he tells me I should tell them im not a baby any more and I should be allowed to sleep with my boyfriend. But I told him I respect my parent’s wishes and won’t argue with them over it and he should respect them too, again he doesn’t see my point.





When it comes to sex he refuses to wear a condom. I have tried the pill but it made me moody/unhappy and fat. I did change pills but I don’t want to risk it again by being over weight and I hated how my moods rapidly would change. I just said please just wear a condom its a lot cheaper and it means I don’t have to take a pill every day that makes me unhappy. Again he argues that condoms are annoying blah blah blah.. which causes us to have unprotected sex which sometimes ends in me having to buy the morning after pill.





When it comes to being together he wants to be with me until 11pm at night which is so hard considering I have a full time job (mon-fri) with an early start. We get in arguments and he is always asking “why don’t you ever want to be with me!!”





Also, I am never allowed to go to the gym/friends house etc without his permission, which he never grants unless HE has made plans with the boys (which is hardly ever!!!!!!)








Don’t get it wrong, this boy apart from these things is amazing and I know reading this you will get a wrong idea. I would just up and leave if I thought the relationship wasn’t worth the fight I just want to find a way I can be happy and have more control of this relationship before all the feelings I have for him go.





It hasn’t always been like this I think he just realizes that he has a hold on me.








Help?





PS. Im 17Relationship advice, Desperate help?1?
Just a question: is it your parents' wishes to have sex? And to use contraception? I heard catholics are against contraception... Cuz if it is, then good for you to follow your parents' wishes. If it's not... maybe you should think twice before complaining to him about obeying your parents' wishes.





Anyway, if he complains about using condoms.. sounds like a douchebag to me. I'd say you need to tell him to be more accommodating. There are condoms out there that are designed to enhance pleasure and he needs to give it a shot (some are thinner, some are ribbed, etc).





If not.. find a more understanding man.Relationship advice, Desperate help?1?
I would maybe talk to him about it. Even if you really like him, I think, that maybe if he is gonna be this controlling, you shouldn't see him. I mean do you wanna be in a relationship where the guy is always controlling you?
He is controlling you! He is selfish and if he really cared about you and wanted the best for you, he wouldn't be trying to make you do things that you don't want to. Get out while the going is good. There are plenty of caring and sweet guys out there that wouldn't treat you like that. I understand what you mean when you say he's amazing apart from those things, but they are BIG things. He needs to grow up and have some respect. You deserve better.
damn girl. your boyfriend has no right to do any of these things to you. you are your own person, with rights of your own. If he disrespects your family, that's a strike against him. It isn't his business and he is being ';invited'; into your house. So he should have the courtesy to abide by their rules. for one night.





The whole deal with the no condoms is not acceptable. He isn't respecting you if he treats his wishes over your needs. Face it, pregnancy at 17 is not something you would be prepared for, and if he is to put out to wear a condom then you need to start putting your safety first. Give him an ultimatum: either you wear a condom or we don't have sex.





if he dumps you for standing up for yourself, then he doesn't care enough about you and you deserve so much better!
It sounds like he is very controlling and you need to get out of that relationship. Its an unhealthy one. If you don't want to get out of it. You need to say no and do what you want. Don't let him push you around.





Just a little confusion here...


You say that you won't sleep in the same bed because your parents don't want you to because they are Catholic. Well that also means they don't want you having sex either... seems kind of contradicting.
Let me start off by saying this....my son would never be allowed to have his girlfriend sleep with him in my house at the age of 17. I think it's appalling that he thinks your parents would or should allow that. I commend you for respecting their wishes.





Secondly, it's scary knowing that you are having unprotected sex with this guy, especially at such a young age. I understand being on the pill has its side effects, but I would think that having a baby at your age would be more of a problem then some weight gain. But at the same time, he should definetly be wearing a condom. One, the pill isn't 100% effective...and two, it doesn't protect you against diseases. You are taking a big gamble not making him wear a condom. I'm not saying he is cheating on you, but one slip up from him could result in him giving you an STD.





Why would you put up with a guy that doesn't ';allow'; you to do things? I'm 29 years old, and I've never let a man control me and what I do. Nor would I try to control him. Aren't you your own person?





Doesn't sound like he respects you at all. And it seems like all he wants is control over you. If that's the way you want to live, then that is your choice. You have said it yourself, you are not happy. I think that should be a big sign to you. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
Probably one of the best things for you, and perhaps him, is for you to lose interest fast.





The more time you spend in a relationship where he dictates everything, the more both of you begin to think that's acceptable.





You stop becoming your own person, he's now responsible for two people's happiness and do you know how long that lasts?





If the pill makes you unhappy, for sure, don't be on it, but then don't have sex.





Say to him that you are not going on the pill, but you are NOT getting pregnant either, so it's condom or no sex and if he dumps you because of that, well, that's where his priority lies.





As far as stuff outside, he should be thankful that's he's told when you are doing something with someone else, but you shouldn't be asking permission. Not letting you have freedom is typically a case of him either not trusting you or his knowing he isn't a great boyfriend and worrying that you will find someone better.





No one is expected to be perfect, but at the very least, respect you as an individual. You, right now, seem like you are an attachment, a limb and a sexual release.