Monday, August 23, 2010

Relationship advice needed from those in the know, please?

Hi from England!





Long story short: I've been with my g-friend for four years; we met at University, and now we're in the 'real world'. We live in the same city but in different houses, as she moved here a few weeks before I did so we had to get different contracts.





I am off to the Army in a few months, early summer 09. We have agreed that it will be too hard to keep things going while I am miles away at basic training, but until then we'd just have a good time together. However, things have taken an odd turn. We're still great mates, but that's all really. We spend a lot of time together and enjoy one another's company, but the sex life has dried up and we're so comfortable around one another that when we're out with friends we don't engage in the usual 'coupley' activites (hugging, holding hands etc).





We think that we're ready to split up, but as we're both so close it seems as if neither of us actually has the balls to do it. At the moment we're just plodding along in limbo, knowing that come summer that'll be the end of it anyway.





Even if we do split up now, we will remain very close friends and probably spend time sleeping over and going out together, which is obviously nice but does not support tyhe fact that we'd have to move on as inidividuals in this strange new city.





What, from your experience, would you offer as insight?





Thanks!Relationship advice needed from those in the know, please?
I was in the same situation and the guy and I have become best friends and our relationship has endured for many years. We are so comfortable with each other that we share all our problems as platonic friends but we never interfere in each others private lives. It is great. We know we can count on each other for support at any time. Having a true friend is very important. Do not be afraid of taking your relationship to the friendly level. Good luck.Relationship advice needed from those in the know, please?
you're already acting like you're broken up, so just make it mutually ';official.'; give each other permission to see other people, etc. it should be really easy and painless considering what you've said.





on the other hand, you could take Perpetual's advice. spice up your relationship by doing something different and surprising.





either way, don't put too much pressure on her or yourself.





good luck!!
Don't give up on your relationship! Just spice it up with new things you've never done before. For example, if she really likes art, sign yourself and her up for a few art classes. Doing new things for each other will bring the passion back in the relationship. :)





Btw, I love the way your wrote that out. Very....British. :)
I think your very lucky in a way. The split is coming and its going to be a happy parting. I would enjoy the time you have left together, the fact is, its in your mind and your subconciously ending it now. Enjoy your friendship.
My boyfriend's in the navy and we went through a similar situation. I broke up with him a month before he left for basic training but we still hung out and honestly, we still had sex and acted like a couple. I know you said you guys don't act like a couple, but hopefully this might help:





He left 6 months ago and I thought I would never really see him or talk to him again and we were just making the best of the time left. After he left though he began writing me letters and calling once a week, when they were allowed. And even though it's been 6 months and we don't have the label of ';girlfriend/boyfriend'; we basically are together. Turns out even though we thought it'd be hard to be together long distance, not being together at all was even harder.





So just play it by ear and see how it goes. Who knows what'll happen.
hey sweetheart..





i dont think your gf was comfy being your gf til you went to the army..


knowin she wont see you for so long..


you said the sex has dried up and your just great mates..


it seems to have happened itself..


maybe she has been pulling away from you for a while?


talk to her about if cause if you dont, you'll go off to the army and maybe regret not talking to her





go for it hun..


you need to know where you stand


good luck in the army


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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