Relationship advice... I'm asking it in this category because maybe you've been through this too? ?

Well my boyfriend and I just broke up after one year, one month, three weeks, and one day together. Nothing was wrong between us... it was our parents. =/ But the reason is irrelevant.


I find it very... VERY hard getting over him. We still see eachother on church days (twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday) and we still talk about the same amount. (minus texting and stuff). Whenever I'm with him, I feel like nothing has changed, but we both know it has.. I want to be friends... but I'm not sure if we can. There's that certain level of...you know.. ';more than friends';.


The only time I DON'T miss him terribly is when I'm talking to other guys. Sorry if that sounds bad or whatever. But I'm wondering, am I just missing him this much because there's nobody to take his place right now?


Don't get me wrong, we really did love eachother. And I still love him but... things obviously aren't working out. Should I really let him go and not talk to him at all, or should I just keep him as a friend but at arms length?





I'm so confuzzled.... ='(Relationship advice... I'm asking it in this category because maybe you've been through this too? ?
OK, I completely understand why you are feeling so torn. Here it is - this is normal to feel like this after a breakup, especially when it is a breakup after what was a good relationship. Even if the time and place, situation, isn't right, it is really tough to get over someone when you don't feel like you have a reason for moving past the relationship to help you through it. Does that make sense? If you are angry, anger helps you find a reason to move forward... anger makes you want to get past the hurt and look for something new and better. This kicker for you is that there was, in your eyes, nothing better than the relationship you were in, so you don't even have the anger and desire for better things to help you. Not feeling like there was something to improve upon makes it tougher to get over this. Sure, your parents influence and guidance was a reason for problems in the relationship, but if the two of you were older and were able to continue, you would want to still be together, so that makes this feel even more wrong.





So yes, you want to continue having this person who was/is important in your life to still be your friend, and it is a mature thing to want to still hang on to a valued person. But, like you said, that ';chemistry'; is always there, bubbling under the surface. That, too, is normal.





As to not missing him so much when you are talking to other guys - that is also normal! And it is healthy. It tells me that you feel you still have options. You haven't shut yourself off to others altogether. And yes, you will miss him less at times like this, and that is ok. We are designed as humans to love one another - we are meant to be with a mate, and you are at an age where you are seeking out the kind of person you will want for a husband someday. This guy fit the mold you are drawn to, and so when you are lonely, you go back to wanting what is comfortable and loved: him. When you are around other guys who also meet this ideal you have, you see there is hope, that there are other guys who are worthy of your attention, and maybe eventually, your love. And that makes you feel better because your heart feels hope!





So to get to your big question - should you put him out of your life entirely, or keep him at arm's length? I guess I would say that the arm's length thing is an ok plan. You two are good friends with a good history. If you only see each other at church events and not school, that will help. It gives you a chance to breathe while out of his sight and to not feel guilty if you give attention to another guy. And that IS ok! DON'T feel guilty about it! Plus, who knows what direction life will take you? As you two grow older you may find yourself in a better time and place for this type of relationship. In the meantime, your heart will hurt and you will have some sad times and lonely nights where you shed some tears over the loss of a person who is so special to you. Someone very wise once told me that it takes just as long to fall out of love as it did to fall in. In other words, what took time to grow will take time to heal once it is removed. It is one of the hardest things to go through, probably the hardest. Being apart form the ones we love feels unnatural and wrong, it hurts the heart. But time will heal your pain and time will make things easier. Every day you will need to choose to let things get a little easier, and always remember it is ok to get better! Too often we feel guilty when we begin to heal after love has been taken, but I believe that we are meant to find joy in each day. So look for the blessings, stay with loved ones who support you and can listen to you, and cry when you need to. But always look forward. There is a great life waiting there for you, just don't forget to allow the joy of each day help you find a reason to appreciate each day and to help you as you move to that place.





I wish you well! I know your what your heart feels; I have felt it and it has been there in my life as well. I will be thinking of you! I hope this helps...Relationship advice... I'm asking it in this category because maybe you've been through this too? ?
I was in a similar situation where I dated a guy with the same group of friends. When we broke up, I still saw him every weekend and it was really hard. However, time did ease the pain/awkwardness of being around each other and we became better friends than we were when we were dating. Give it time (and it may take a lot of time) but it will get easier.





Good luck to you!
My ex and i were going out for 3 1/2 years. then he told me that maybe i should get another guy and that he didn't love me anymore. I still miss him. Maybe you will get back together. just wait and see.
I think that you need your space for a little while. If he wants to be friends, he'll understand. There's nothing wrong with being friends with your ex, but you just need to talk to him about it. I know it's hard because I was dating my BEST friend and things didn't work out with us. He didn't give me the space I needed and I should have spoken up because it took me longer to get over him. I don't want this to happen to you, so make sure you learn by my mistake. lol You could still have feelings for him, especially since this has happened recently. I think that you need to stay single for a little while to figure out what went wrong and to let your heart heal. It's okay to be upset over this for a little while and then you'll be able to date again. Good luck and I'm sorry about that.