Relationship Advice. What should I do? You decide. Please help me out here.?

Yes, she feels obligated to leave me even though she doesn't want to. To start, I'm 37 years old, have been in love before (or so I thought) and am no stranger to long commited relationships. I'm romantic, sappy and poetic to a fault and am financially successful. I met Ling four months ago, in a night where she was out having fun, singing karaoke during a bachelorette party. She reached out to me to help her and friends have fun so I spent the night, singing to and with them (I am a very good singer). We've been inseparable ever since, spending nights and days - hours and hours of sleep lost because we don't want to fall asleep while talking to each other. She has children who I've never met and an joint custody arrangement with the father. I spend every moment with her while her kids are not around. Why haven't I met the kids? Because, she has a long distance relationship with a man from Sweden for two years, who the kids have already met and like very much. She, on the other hand, has her doubts about him but was very set on the idea of brining him over to the US in a try-buy type of arrangement to see if things could work. But then I entered the picture. Like I said, I am no stranger to love or relationships but this time, somehow, it's different than anything I've ever experienced. To the point that I wonder if I'd ever loved at all? We are realistic with each other, and I've been very careful with her - have been very cerebral about her good and bad points, even telling my friends it was sort of my form of making an arranged marriage. I don't want to make a mistake and get divorced again! This time it has to be real. So after months of being critical I find I am utterly in love with Ling. Now there's nothing I can do. But Ling has a problem: The man from Sweden is set to come this November. She's like a deer in the headlights, not knowing what to do. She's naturally a planner and an executer-she doesn't deviate course once she has her mind on something. But then she met me and admits I am perfect for her in every single way. She feels she's made a commitment and has to allow him to come to the US. I know intuitively that she loves me but is confused and ashamed at herself for doing this. She cheated on him even though there was nothing wrong with the relationship. Yes, people cheat. It's a fact of life. We should all strive to be with the people who inspire us to play by the rules. I've cheated on people before and regretted it, while still not understanding why I didn't stick it out. Now, I find someone who inspires me to be perfect and feels the same about me but she is tied to an ideal which forces her to accept this man, make love to this man, accept this man as a stepfather to her children. So now she is obligated by the same forces which lead her to be a success in the first place, the same power that makes her a wonderful and caring mother, my beautiful girlfriend, who I will love forever. Why must I let go? Or what can I do? Time is tight, and seconds are passing; each one is our last.Relationship Advice. What should I do? You decide. Please help me out here.?
I feel for you man. Talk to her NOW. Tell her everything if you haven't already done so. Tell her how you feel. I'm sorry if things don't work out but you have to work this out with her, not us. Talk to her.Relationship Advice. What should I do? You decide. Please help me out here.?
show her this page. have you talked it out with her to see how she feels and what she wants? what she wants, regardless of what everyone else wants? if she must meet with this man, then let her, but give her an ultimatum
You are a romantic and poetic aren't you? -- ';Time is tight, and seconds are passing; each one is our last.';





Anyways...Since she's the type who sticks to the plan, why can't he:





- come over for a short while since it is ';a try-buy type of arrangement';


- be told that she has fallen in love with you





you should pray about it (sorry if you find this offensive, but it's my belief, I can't help that)





whatever happens, good luck and God bless =]