Relationship advice would be so appreciated right now...?

I'm starting to wonder if maybe I've become my boyfriend's doormat. We've been dating for almost a year and a half, and we're both 25 and in law school. This weekend, he had a final exam in the form of a trial all day on Saturday. But, he asked me to host a basketball party Saturday night (I have a big TV) for him and his friends because he went to MSU for undergrad.





Well, I spent quite a lot of time preparing for the party. All day Friday, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom (and by all day I mean literally about 8-9 hours of cleaning). On Saturday, I cancelled my plans with friends so that I could go grocery shopping and make food for the party (I made everything from scratch...including flour tortillas, etc.). As soon as the Michigan St. game ended, my bf left his party (while everyone else was still here) to take a quick shower and change at his apt. 3 hours later...no sign of him. His phone was off, and so finally I set out to find him. I found him asleep at his apt, and my first reaction was, ';You're alive?!?!? I'm going to KILL YOU!!!'; (since he left my place a mess and with all friends).





Needless to say, we got into a fight over that, and he thinks he's 100% blameless, and that I had no place to be upset with him.





Well, in the meantime, he and I made plans to watch the game together tonight. In fact, I bought green face paint and ordered a couple MSU shirts for us (which he knew about). I just found out from him that he would rather go over to hang out with his guy friends to watch the game. He invited me, but I don't want to tag along with a bunch of guys. So, here I am, trying to be the best gf I can, and I'm sitting alone yet again.





Any advice??Relationship advice would be so appreciated right now...?
i guess no matter wat guys will be guys and its hard to pull a guy away from his ways of being with his friend on a game night.





i think u did a wonderful thing by putting a party together for him but maybe next time u can make it clear that if he wants a party at ur place he can can do the rearranging u know now next time not to put ur time aside its not fair to you.





i think u did absolutely nothing wrng. just go out with ur friends tonight and forget him for a while. itll be fineRelationship advice would be so appreciated right now...?
end it, or tell him how your feeling, i mean you are trying way to hard and he is taking you for granted. and its not good for you, :]
be your own person. Make him miss you a little. he has no respect for you. I can say this because I have done what he is doing. be a little more hesitant about things and make him show you he cares.
He's a guy....what exactly were you expecting?
ya i suggest just taken a break for a while and just take some time to think.
maybe you guys need a break
Don't let him walk over you like that. And yes, I think that you are right about the doormat thing. You HAVE to stand up for yourself and if he still does not respect you than you definately need to leave him if only for a little while to show him that you truly are hurt and serious. Don't blow it off or it will probably keep happening. Best of luck.
Depends. Is this the only incident? If it was a one-time thing, I wouldn't worry about it. He just wanted to chill out and not have to think about it after his big exam.





But if this is a trend, you need to tell him exactly what is bothering you and how it makes you feel. Guys can't read your mind. If you need more time alone with him, tell him so. If you need him to be more sensitive of your feelings, then tell him so. If he does not care how you feel, then it's time to dump him and move on. It happens. But talk to him first and see what is going on! If he is just finishing up school, it may well just be stress. Give him a chance to explain himself, too.





Good luck!
Yes we all know that kindness does turn back and cut peoples a**. He has taken your kindness for his weakness, I guess there will come a time when he will have to wait for you to do something like this again. In the future dont over work yourself, knowing it will be pointless.
Sweety!! I know how you feel! Stop trying, and let him try a little bit more.. He knows he can get away with it, since next time, you will do the same. Next tim, tell him you are watching the game with some friends. Tell him he can come, and don't change your plans.. You should not plan on being mean, but just do stuff for yourself sometimes, without considering him. I think by the way you would enjoy shopping with girlfriends more than staring at the game anyway. You seem independent othervise, so take charge when it comes to relations too, and do stuff for yourself. Not to punish him, but to reward yourself :) He will appreciate you more in no time, and if not, he is not worth you anyway..
That guy is delusional!!! I would talk to him about it and if he still acted like a jerk, I would break up with him. Maybe then he'll realize that the first event was rediculous. I wouldn't go crazy about the second one though. Maybe make new plans. But I think you need to take a break for a while. Don't be harsh about it though. Just say you think he needs some space and you need some time to think about it.
depends if it is an incident just one time argument then sit down with him, talk to him your in law school prep, discuss and get him to say sorry and say sorry to take partial blame. For the kill you thing. But rem mind him he is wrong and you are mostly right. Finally if this happens a lot you need a break or a breakup, plus tell him all the hard work u have been through make it clear to him.
he's not making you into a doormat, you're making yourself one. cleaning your apartment for 8-9 hours is totally unnecessary and just plain old stupid. For a football game with a bunch of 25 year old guys? they're gonna trash it anyway so that's pointless. you're doing way to much. give him some space and stop trying to make everything perfect. when you pay attention to detail, more often than not when someone doesn't appreciate the little (and pointless) things you do you wind up upset like so. chill out. if he cares about you then impressing him shouldn't be so hard. stop! %26lt;3 Cara
He seems self- centered to me. I think maybe you guys should talk about how he seems to be avoiding you on the slick. Its like he just rather be around his guy friends for the most part. So just tell him how you feel and that you don't appreciate it, If he still acts a ***, just do him the same thing. Avoid him and hang with ya girls(when he feels he wants to be bothered) instead, that might give him a wake up call.
He's not making you his doormat, you are making yourself his doormat. You go out of the way to grant all his wishes and he hasn't done anything for you in order to deserve it. He sees what you are doing and hes losing respect for you because your not respecting yourself. NOONE would do all that for someone. Your making yourself his slave and he doesnt want a slave. He's giving you plenty of opportunities to say no and you never do. SAY NO be real.
KILL HIM! lol





but i think you should explain all the things that you do for him, to him, so he gets a better understanding. also, don't throw anymore parties for his friends unless he helps and instead go with him to the parties he gets invited to that he invited you to and you get to hang out with him without any of the work and madness.
I know this might sound like im telling you to stoop down to an all time low bout im not - trust me. Do something like that to him just like he did to you. Don't let him think that you can be used and abused and certainly don't tag along. Leave him alone for a couple days and see how he copes. Invite him somewhere and abandon him. Maybe then he'll see how it feels
DAMN HE's FUCKED UP!!!





Get him back and then DUMP HIS ***!!!





U really are going out of ur way to satisfy him ur doing things u should only do for ur spouse and since theres no strings attached between u guys its pretty obvious he's using u look at it this way hes going to go have fun with the guys even though he knows ur going to be sitting at home upset...he invited u? yeh only cuz he knew u wouldnt want to go and he figured if u did go u could go get beer and food for the guys
Follow you instincts but don't be rash. Throw your own party or only invite your friends so you can have a good time and they will help you out also. If you have always done these things for him why would he expect differently. Start cutting out all the time you spend on his priorities and see if you are still both happy. Maybe you enjoy being this way and so does he but you don't feel appreciated and he can learn how to do that. Communication without yelling.





Make a short and sweet list of what is bothering you so you don't get lost in the heat of the moment and start into another subject or something. Don't present the paper list to him, just write it down so you have your 'argument' thought out. Find out if is just busy times for him and he needs you to clean up or if he plans it remaining this way. Good luck
You know what? He is using you. He is the big guy on campus to his friends, e.g. party, food, big screen tv, etc. at your place. When the glory is over, he splits. I know this isn't the first time you did something like this for him or something similar. He always has to look good. I think it's a lawyer thing. No offense to you. He knew about the plans to watch the game with you alone and the extra mile you went to make it a ';perfect'; night but he prefers the guys. He invited you not out of being a nice guy but just to keep his options open. You are too nice for him. You have a great career ahead of you. Go find someone else who would appreciate you. Good luck in school and love.