Relationship advice, serious answers only, please.?

Okay, well here's the deal. I'm rather hurt by my boyfriend's actions lately. I'm planning on attending university in September, and he doesn't want me to. He says he's scared he'll lose me, even though I'm not even going away, the university is a few kilometers away from my home.


I'm 17, and he says that's too young to go because even though i told him my future plans, he said that's probably not what i really want and I'm making a huge mistake. I want to teach, and he says ';You won't be able to teach, you can't handle people. I could see you as a secretary or something (because i worked as one two summers in a row) but no, not a teacher'; He also says things like when I go to school, I'll probably turn into a party sl*t, let guys be all over me, etc. I'm NOT like that at all.. and that really hurts.





What's your opinion ? Do you think 17 is too young to go to university ? Do you think my boyfriend is just clearly insecure ? Help !Relationship advice, serious answers only, please.?
I can see how this can be very difficult for you. I had the opportunity to start UNI when I was 51, but I took a year off, then went back to get some extra credits the next year, took another year off, and then went to UNI. I will admit I took too much time off, but there was a lot going on in my life at the time, and school just wasn't one of my top priorities. If you know what it is you want to do, than go for it, otherwise, I would say there is no rush. 17 is a bit young I would say if you were going away, but your going to a school close by and if your going to be commutting, than there really is no reason not to go for it (age wise).





As for your bf, I don't know how long you 2 been going out, or what your LONG TERM plans are, but maybe this is a time to think about them. I know everyone is saying, ';School first'; or ';He is just jelous'; or whatever, but in the end, you have to see things from his point of view too.





Right now he is scared to lose you, right there it shows that he cares a lot for you. All these things he is saying is all out of fear that you will find someone better. Anyone who says he is too insecure is being an ****! He is scared to loose someone he deeply cares about. I don't know him, so maybe I am wrong, but I know plenty of people who get scared when their gf/bf goes of to a different school or moves to a different town.





You need to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If you don't see a long term future for you 2, than why drag it on anyway? If you do see one, than you need to consider his feelings and help comfort his fears, that is what love does. Tell him that if your love is real, than there is nothing to fear.





If you still feel you need someone to talk to more about this, or maybe someone to act as an unbias middle man to help mediate so you both listen to each other without the arguing and misunderstanding, than don't hesitate to drop me an e-mail or add me to msn messenger.





My e-mail is - Vizionz_vocals@msn.com





Hope it all works out for the both of you.Relationship advice, serious answers only, please.?
he's insecure. he thinks that if you go to college you'll find a real man *sorry but obviously he's not mature enough for a real relationship.* you're the only one that knows what you want in life, he can't decide for you. if you want to teach, do it. 17 isn't too young to go to college, it's better to start early. if he can't accept you wanting the best for yourself, he's not good enough for you.
Wow if he truly cared about you he would want you to succeed to your full potential but instead he cares and is accomidating his own insecurities first.


The stuff he is saying ';not working with people'; is just trying to get you to change your mind.


IMO more 17 yr olds should have a plan like ou do. Let him know these are your plans and he can support you like a true companion should or he can leave.


Stand up for yourself because he sounds like he is only bringing you down.
he is jealous. he sees you have the thing all the guys wannts and he is scared that he will lose you. but even if, if you want to be a teacher do NOT let his sorry butt keep you from doing that. he will just have to get over himself. just make sure when you are at university, make plans with him, to show him you dont forget him :)





help me?





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Just say that if he cant support you then he can get stuffed.


Your not to young to go to uni!! nd he should be supporting and trusting you not saying stupid and insecure stuff like that!!


If he really cared properly about you then he wouldn't say stuff like that.


He is either very insecure or jealous and not worthy of you if he doesn't support or trust you!!


Good Luck =]
I'm really sorry to say this.. but I think you should seriously break up. Any boyfriend or girlfriend who is holding you down in a career is not good. A boy or girlfriend should always support you and not try to hold you down. He can only tell you that he disagrees with your decision but in the end you're the one who makes it!
I am agree with your point of view. 17 .. um .. ok for attending university. But yes guys are little unsecure particularly if he thinks u are going away. I tell u my story. My gf went for a job to kathmandu from india. I was little unsecure on this issue. But just after 10 days i heard that her marraige is on next day. Think about it. Thats why guyz are little unsecure. I was not so and i paid the price : my life.
It definitely sounds like your boyfriend has some growing up to do. You need to tell him that he can't tell you what to do with your life, or what you're capable of doing! Tell him that if he can't learn to trust you, that's his problem. You go for your dreams..even if it means leaving him in the dust. ;)
dump him. him being insecure is no reason for him to say things like that to you. this is how abuse starts. he tells you things to make you feel bad about yourself, and eventually you'll start to believe him. he should be encouraging you to go for your dreams, not holding you back. what a loser.
I think he likes you a lot and might even love you. He doesn't want you to go because he is afraid you will leave him. Do you like him? Maybe you should break up with him. High school relationships usually do not lead to marriage.
he's clearly insecure. he's not trusting you enough when you say that you won't do anything. 17 isn't too young to go to college or university
u suld go 2 university, hes jst rele scared hes gunna lose u, it sounds lke he doesnt wnt u 2 go cuz hell miss u alot, I thnk u suld jst go 2 the university n u guys can meet up stll n tlk
Direct deal would impacted when your serious.
He is so cleary insecure. He needs to grow up (which wont happen overnight) or you need to dump him.
You answered your question already.. and I agree with you. 17 is not too young to go to university, especially since it sounds like you know what you want! You'll be fine and the experience will be good for you too.. do it!!





As for your boyfriend. You said it yourself and I agree.. he sounds insecure to me. If he cares about you he'll support you and be there for you.. whatever decision you make. If not.. then maybe he's not the right person for you anyway..? Don't mold your life just to fit what he wants. You have a higher regard for yourself.. and what you can make of your life.. than he does. Don't let him hold you back!! He should be happy for you.. excited.. and very supportive.
17 is the perfect age to go.....fresh out of high school, you'll finish up school while you're still young.





The one with issues is your boyfriend. He's insecure and afraid that he'll lose you, because he feels as though your relationship is already having problems. He doubts your abilities, and is knocking your self esteem down to the point of where you have to ask other people who is right your intution, or some guy you're going out with.





If he thinks you'll turn into a party ****, thats how he views you....He seems to believe that you can do far better then him, and thinks that you're more likely to become a **** (furthering what he really thinks of you)








Being young and going to a university is not the problem. He is.
No, of course 17 isn't too young to go to university. I was 17 going in for my first year, and I'm 19 now. And Ive had the same bf since I was 16...and we're doing just FINE.





Your man is VERY insecure. And he is totally ignoring the fact that you are physically able to think for yourself, and control your own actions. So, if some guy DID come onto you at your university, you could simply say ';I'm not interested. I'm already in a relationship'; and the guy would bugger off. So, that said, I also think your man may think you can't think for yourself. Yes, there will be parties at university. Do you need to go to them? Not if you don't want to!





He needs to experience university himself to realize it is not what he is thinking.





You need to follow your own dreams. If you want to be a teacher----do it! Don't forfeit your dreams simply because a boyfriend tells you he can't see you doing that. In fact, Im pretty sure if you said you wanted any career that required university-level education, he would say he cannot see you in that field of work. He simply does not want you to go, and he does not want you to go because he is way to insecure about himself, his relationship, and your own free will.





Personally, I think he is just going to keep giving you hell until you say you will not EVER go to university. Please, for your sake, don't listen to him. He's JUST a boyfriend. You can find another. You don't have some life-binding agreement where you cannot disobey or dump him.





Go have the future YOU want. It's your life, your choice, and it is you who will be working 40hrs a week until your 65 at this job----so you might as well make it one you actually want and enjoy.
He's ridiculously insecure. A good boyfriend would NEVER try to ruin your future, which not going to uni would do, just so he can have you around all the time. You already know what you want for your future, so good for you! It's what HE doesn't want. This guy is WAY too selfish. I can't believe he's putting down your dreams! He's such a jackass, you need to dump his pathetic *** immediately. No guy should try to shoot down your dreams, just because he's insecure and is jealous that you have the balls to chase after the future that you want, and will probably get. You can have such an amazing life, you should live it up! He's dragging you down, and not out of love, out of jealousy. So have fun at university, and good luck getting a better guy in the future!
17 is not too young to go to a university. The younger the better. Also, he has no right to tell you if you can or cannot be good at a teaching job. You should be the only one to decide your future plans and not be influenced by anyone but yourself. It seems like your BF is very insecure. He should never say that you are going to be a party ****. That is just rude and disrespectful to you. You should do what ever you want and if your boy friend does not agree then he is not for you.
17 is never too young to start university. Plenty of people had done it.


You have made plans for your own future and have set your goals, him being your bf should be happy for you and supporting your decisions because lets face it -it's a good plan.





I don't understand why he needs to criticize you for what you want to do. Has he made any plans for himself? To me he is very insecure. Try and have a talk about it with him, stick to your plans so if he won't change his attitude towards this then I don't know how it's gonna work with him. It's YOUR future.
From someone who went through the same experience, I found that I grew out of some of my friends and girlfriends as I went through college. I think 17 is a great age to go to university. If he's not on board with your plans, then he is probably both immature and insecure about dealing with a strong woman.





Always go for your dreams, surround yourself with people who support your dreams (but who are also realistic about what your dreams are as well), and make sure to know who your true friends are.





Again from personal experience, it's sometimes easier to deal with the pain of a breakup at the beginning of college rather than dragging it out. Try to remain friends if you can, but if not, move ahead with your life. You sound like you have things planned out and want to grow as a person. You'll find someone who will support and love you even more than you know. :)





Good luck, and best of luck becoming a teacher!
I'm not sure about that being too young, I would think not, long as you've completed high school it shouldn't be a problem. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, he sounds like a total insecure jerk and I don't think you should waste your time with this dude. He's not being supportive of your dream to become a teacher and is basically downgrading you, that's not the type of person you would want on your side, which he isn't. You don't need this type of negativity in your life, life is hard enough without somebody telling you can't do this or you should be this. Either he's with you on your dreams and aspirations or he's out of your life.
you know yourself best. and you know him. and you already know the answer. yes he's insecure. yes he's selfish. if he really cared about you in a loving as opposed to needy way. you know that he would be congratulating you and supporting you. its natural for him to feel insecure but its not right for him to hurt you because of it. he needs to grow up. If you say your not gonna be a ****, and you have no intention of hurting him then he needs to get that. its not right for him to doubt you if you've never given him a reason before. go to that university. but be smart about it
I think you seriously need to rethink your relationship with this boyfriend. No, 17 is not too young to begin at the university. This is actually a huge advantage for you to begin early this will ensure you to be finished younger and on your way to begin your dreams, goals, etc. So you can be successful in life and in your career. One of my son's began at the university at the age of 17, now at the age of 21 has almost completed his education. You need to continue forward with your goals and dreams of your own life expectations. Be very aware of anyone who says they ';love you, care for you'; however, want to hold you back. You will find after you have began your studies that teaching may not be what you really desire to do; however at that time you can choose to make a change. Let it be your choice; no one else can or should make it for you. Continue to be strong willed and strong minded reaching for the stars... No one will get you where you want to be but yourself. Good luck to you in whatever you choose for your future. But please do not reconsider an education this will be a huge assets to your future with or without this boyfriend. This boyfriend is what you should be considering a change in. My thoughts are he is very insecure and should be thinking of his future goals and aspirations... Tell him to go and be a secretary since she is so comfortable with the position.
First of all i want to be a teacher as well and second your boyfriend is an *** dump him because if he actually cares about you he will not put you down so much.it is never to early to get a great education.plzzzz dump him it is for your benefit trust me it wouldn't last either and if you don't go to school you will feel like you have wasted your life in the long run.





oh and i am very proud of you.I wish you all the luck in the world.it's better to be a successful,independent young lady.all the best
he's insecure. he thinks that if you go to college you'll find a real man *sorry but obviously he's not mature enough for a real relationship.* you're the only one that knows what you want in life, he can't decide for you. if you want to teach, do it. 17 isn't too young to go to college, it's better to start early. if he can't accept you wanting the best for yourself, he's not good enough for you. your boyfriend doesnt care what you want to do in your life and its just best if you let him go and maybe you will find someone better that him at your collage. good luck=)
your boyfriend is clearly insecure and immature. If he wants to get in the way of your life instead of trying to work something out then dump him. He clearly doesn't trust you, honestly calling you a party sl*t and let guys be all over you is something you dont really say to some1 and he is now more considering you his belonging, you're a person too.





i went to uni @ 16. Go to uni, it's not even far for a commute too as im understanding that you're still in the same city.
No, 17 is definitely not too young. 17 and 18 are perfectly normal ages. Ok, I live in Hong Kong, and I go to an international school. There's a lot of pressure on all of the students to get good grades. Then people from my school usually go straight into university. In fact, most people from any schools in HK do that. Sure, some take a gap year, but most don't.





If you want to teach, you do that. Don't let anyone tell you that ';you can't handle people.'; I think it's terrible that your boyfriend said those things. He should be supportive of you. Yes, I think he's insecure. And, perhaps, selfish for that matter. If he thinks you'd just let yourself turn into that type of girl, it kinda seems like he doesn't respect you as much as you deserve or believe in you.





He sounds kinda clingy and slightly controlling. Like he knows best for you. No, make your own decisions and plans for the future. Even if they don't include him.





Best of luck :]
He's being selfish. He doesn't want you to reach your dreams.


FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, GO TO UNIVERSITY, AND HE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT READY FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.


He doesn't trust you if he thinks you'll be a party sl*t. Trust is key to a real and serious relationship. You can't take someone seriously if they won't take you seriously. You know what you want; you make the decision for yourself; you can't let someone else choose what you want for you! Go follow your dreams, and go to university. Don't let him stop you! There will be the right guy one day - it just won't be him.
This is why you should not have a serious boyfriend at your age. They don't care about your future, just sex. Your not too young to go to college. Its great that you are going to college at that age!!! Your boyfriend is insecure which is understandable but he should not call you names if he really loves you. He should support you, its not like your going away. He wants you to be what he wants you to be and that's being controlling. You do not need a controlling BF right now. you need someone that will support you and your future. Stay focus on your future for now and don't let some dude destroy it so he can have sex with you when ever he wants!!!
ur not too young ur bf is saying these things to lower ur self esteem so that u'll be afraid to go this is more than likely subconcious and he has no idea that he is doing it he just wants to stop u and how far in life is he does he have a dead end job is/did he go to school.........here is what u need to do go to the school make ur dreams happen if u have the way and the means do it b/c more than likely if u want it to happen it will tell ur bf what he is doing to u and if he cant support u in what u want then he isnt the person u thought or want......if he can make some changes on how he handles the situation then maybe there is a chance u two will work i hope this helps


k this question is mine and mainly for men please answer guys!!!


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