Relationship advice, what should I do?

I have been married for almost 4 years now. My husband the majority of the time is very sweet and fun to be around. However, he def. has his faults. His parents has given him this holier than thou attitude that didnt really bother me until we got married and I now have to suffer through it. For whatever reason he thinks that I have lesser values than him. We both come from a culture where modesty is important, among other things. I dont dress whorish, but i wear sleevless shirt, and capri pants, and wear a tankini to the beach. He would rather have me cover all over, but he knew how i was when we got married...anyway, every single time we have a fight some how my morals are brought into question, and he proceeds to talk down to me, about i have no values, or class, or he wouldnt want me to raise our kids. You guys get the idea. I get upset, i talk to him about it after the fight, he blames it on me, I stay quiet, i get over it in a few days, and then it happens again.


I am gettin really tired of all of it, and him not apologizing, and throwing dumb stuff in my face.... I befriended a girl from school who we think is gay, automatifally i had no values, what did your parents teach you, you are influenced by t.v. and magazines you read, etc...


our fight today was about a swim suit, the swim suit looks exactly like every other swim suit i have but a differtnt color, i didnt want to fight but wanted to make that point. he points out another swimsuit that is covered more, i say i dont like it, not because it is covered, but if i am going to wear something it has to be something i like, he then start with the values ---';go get some values'; i have no respect for you, this and that, i let him go on, later on in the night he notices i am upset, i mention why, he blows up on me, and reiterate everything he said earlier, says it is me, and i will have to get over him saying i have no values because i really dont, etc...





i dont know what do to anymore, it is not even about the dumb swim suit, i honestly beleive this guy has no respect for me, or is simply trying to hurt me. I feel like i am suffocating, i have such a weight on my chest. I dont know what to do,


i can t go through a divorce, what are my other options... the easiest thing will probably just stay in the relationship but stay emotionally detached, and maybe i can meet someone else..


i dont think he will ever change or see things from my point of view, and how bad he hurts me when he talks to me like that, he couldnt care less....what would you do if you were in my position?? please help...Relationship advice, what should I do?
He said it himself, ';I have no respect for you';. Without respect, there is nothing to hold a marriage together.





If divorce is not an option, then you need some couples counseling, and I suspect he wouldn't go, but regardless of that, you need counseling yourself, to get your self esteem back up again. No one should talk to you like that, in my book that qualifies as verbal abuse, and you need to stop it, and a therapist might help you in getting your self esteem up, and finding the courage to end this treatment, and possibly the relationship.





No, he will not change, not if you allow him to be a bully.Relationship advice, what should I do?
hun im sorry you are right he may not change or even try to till after ya leave it may wake him up it woke me up but unfortunately my wife didnt come back good luck just follow your heart and above all cherish what time you do have there will be things ya miss alot
it seems that men change when they get married. you are gonna feel like this til you decides what you want. you emotionally abused. he is trying to keep you like that because after years go by you will have been molded to his thinking. you will no longer know what you want it will be all about him. you wont be able to make a simple decision without him. is that the way you want to live. if you leave him you will get over it, if you stay you will loose you,
I personally would have left by now. Go to counseling and see what happens. But really I don't think things will change at all. So start saving for a new place. You need to get out and have some self worth and someone loving you as you are.
I understand your point.





But, I want to tell you that their are a certain type of men who want their wives to dress as modestly as possible. And those wives who don't, often wined up divorced.





Other men don't mind what you wear cause they don't care about other men looking at their wives.





Apparently yours does and can't take it. These type of men will not accept otherwise. If you love your husband and marriage enough you will accept his position and make accommodations according to his request.